Should a masseur talk during a massage? Do masseurs have to be skilled conversationalists? If you have a chat with your masseur, are you paying for this time? We’ve ran a poll, talked to our clients and masseurs offering male to male massage in London, and in this blog post we will introduce our findings. So here’s the lowdown on whether to speak, when to speak and what to say.

Should a masseur speak during a massage?

We’ve ran a poll on our Twitter, and below are the results.

twitter poll screencap

Let’s enjoy the quiet together. Twitter poll results.

Silent treatment wins out

As you can see, the results appear to be fairly equally split between those who answered ‘I prefer a silent massage’ and those who picked ‘Yes, I love a nice chat’. However, if you add the results up, you will see that although 20% of respondents prefer some conversation, they’re not keen on personal chat during the massage. That means that a whopping 67% don’t want the masseur to talk in the middle of a gay massage. Which makes sense.

The aim of the massage is to relax you, and talking might just get in the way of that. Not to mention that some forms of gay massage will require focus from the person massaged as well as the masseur. To reap the full benefits of tantric massage, for example, you would want to pay close attention to touch and breathing. This would be impossible to do while engaging in conversation.

But many disagree

However, we cannot ignore that 33% do see conversation as an important part of their experience, and 20% would like social interaction of some form. There are good reasons for this as well. Some men choose male to male massage to wind down after a stressful week, and conversation can help with this. Some are visiting London on their travels, and might want a chat after a lonely stint on planes and trains. For others, conversation helps establish a connection with their masseur, which in turn makes the massage more fulfilling. This can be particularly helpful for shy or anxious men, as conversation creates familiarity, and familiarity allows them to relax.

In conclusion, there is no ‘should’. A skilled masseur looks to the receiver of massage for clues. He’s chatty? Let’s have some pleasant conversation. He’s not? Let’s stay quiet and focus on the massage. Some masseurs will explain the massage by default, ensuring that their client knows what to expect and has the chance to communicate any special wishes or requests.

Bruce and Shane: cost of conversation

male in bed holding an alarm clock

Tick tock: the massage session comes to an end.

Here’s a situation where there is potential for conflict and misunderstanding. Bruce pays for a male to male massage in London lasting one hour. He ends up conversing to his masseur Shane at length beforehand. At the end of the massage, Bruce feels that his massage didn’t last long enough. Shane, on the other hand, feels that they agreed for 1 hour, and that includes the conversation time. Who is right here?

Firstly, Shane is a professional, and his time has a certain price. Sometimes it can be hard to remember that when dealing with professionals offering personal services, such as erotic massage. Another problem here is that Bruce probably feels a little hurt. He felt they were having a good time, developing an intimacy, and now Shane is attaching a price tag to that. It is true that Shane probably did enjoy the conversation. He also enjoyed giving Bruce a massage. And yet that is his job, and the way he earns his income. Not to charge for his time would mean reducing his income.

This is by no means straightforward, because we don’t have answers to a lot of interesting questions. Who initiated the conversation? Who kept it going? Did Shane suggest that it was time for the massage at any point? How long was the conversation and how long did the massage take?

As a general rule though, it’s best to assume that a massage appointment begins and ends at an agreed time. Occasionally a masseur might overrun, or choose to add some ‘free’ time, but often this is not the case. There might be another appointment to prepare for afterwards. Or the masseur might simply have other engagements to attend, with no additional time to spare.

Conversation etiquette

Presuming that the client feels like talking, what is okay to talk about? Most of the masseurs that I spoke to said that they let the client take the lead. But it seems that the old rule of ‘no sport, politics or religion’ is not valid here. Only one masseur said that he avoids these topics, with others saying that there are no real taboos. It seems to be more important to have a ‘real, natural conversation’ that ‘feels friendly’. Usually, there is an unspoken rule of not asking any questions that can be identifying to either person.

Talking to a masseur

Not all masseurs who offer male to male massage in London are going to be great conversationalists. While some are fluent in English (or native speakers), others might have a limited number of topics that they can discuss due to the language barrier. On the other hand, like all types of therapists, massage therapists are generally good readers of people and this does help communication.

In the end, I’d like to say one final word on talking before or after the massage. A masseur may have all the training and intuition in the world, but nobody knows one’s body as well as oneself. So whether you like to chat during the massage or not, it is a good idea to speak up about any injuries, skin conditions, allergies, likes and dislikes. A simple “that feels good” gives your masseur a lot of information, and allows him to give you a tailored, exceptional massage.

Looking for a male to male massage in London?

We’re here for both those who love to talk, and those who enjoy their quiet. Let us know your flavour! Book your male to male massage now.