Gay massage etiquette, if you ask me, boils down to being considerate. Imagine this:

The door buzzer disturbs the silence. He’s here, and perfectly on time. There are steps on the stairs and a knock on the foor. A warm smile, soft hands. Then – a graceful disrobing. A pleasant scent of clean skin. His voice is soft and gentle, and he remains unfailingly polite. He is not afraid to say what he likes, and what he doesn’t, and when his masseur gets it right, he is rewarded with a smile or a contended sigh. At the end of the visit, he thanks his masseur and places payment on the side table, unasked. He walks out the door, this time producing a sigh from his masseur: ah, this was a great one.

Understanding the gay massage etiquette

The massage is, first and foremost, for the client’s pleasure. However, sometimes we get questions from considerate clients, who want to make sure they understand the etiquette of receiving gay massage. At Touch of London, we always say: it’s less about etiquette and more about manners. If you act with consideration and have good manners, you needn’t worry about etiquette. Your masseur will appreciate your conduct. However, today we will go into the nitty-gritty of booking, enjoying and paying for massage in a way that befits a gentleman.

The etiquette of booking a gay massage

There are three types of enquiry that immediately raises red flags: asking for a discount, asking for more pictures and requesting illegal services. Let me take you through these one by one.

Asking for a discount

Enquiring about prices is perfectly acceptable, but asking for a discount is not, in our line of work. Why? The masseurs provide a premium service, and their work is both physically and mentally demanding. Bargaining suggests that the client doesn’t think the work is worth the money. At Touch of London, we tend to politely steer such enquirers towards an internet search, where they can easily find massage services to fit their budget. There is no shame in having a smaller budget for leisure, but our masseurs operate at a particular price point and level of quality. Lowering the prices would make the business unviable and force us to ‘cut corners’ in terms of quality, which we would never do.

Asking for more pictures

Why is there an issue with asking for more pictures? Generally, requesting a picture or two is fine, and we are more than happy to send pictures to clients who are struggling to access the website for whatever reason. However, the masseurs often don’t want to share identifying face pictures or casual photos. We have invested in professional photography, and would like to put our best foot forward. Please allow us that.

Requesting illegal services

It goes without saying that requests for illegal services will be turned down. We do not sell sexual services. It’s against the law. It’s impolite to ask us to break the law and risk imprisonment. Please don’t do this. While we have no ethical issue with escorting that is consensual (e.g. doesn’t involve trafficking/exploitation), we operate within the legal system of this country. Any business that has a long-term view would do well to do the same. We will politely explain this to any enquirers, unless the enquiry is of a particularly rude/crass nature, in which case we reserve the right to disengage.


As massages are booked in slots, timing is crucial. A client who arrives late might leave his masseur no time to prepare for the next massage, and there is a lot to do: bedding and towels need to be changed, the masseur needs to take a shower and a short time to relax and recover. If there isn’t enough time, the masseur might need to cancel the next appointment rather than risk providing a less-than-perfect experience to the client. Also, like you, your masseur might have somewhere else to be. Masseurs lead regular lives, with gym sessions, shopping trips and leisure time with friends all fitted around their work.

Of course, sometimes we might be late due to circumstances outside of our control. A traffic jam or a meeting that overruns can change our plans dramatically. When running late, it would be helpful to let us know so we can inform your masseur. A cancellation or postponement with due notice is never seen as rude. However, you should also understand that your appointment may be shorter if you turn up late.


Showering facilities are available for you to use. Photograph by Silke Remmery, licenced under CC BY 2.0.

When two adults get up close and personal, hygiene becomes quite important. Every masseur loves it when their client is someone who showers regularly and has good oral hygiene. When you have a massage with Touch of London, showers are available for you to use before and after the massage, as required. Clean towels and toiletries are also provided. Obviously, the masseurs also shower in preparation for each massage.

Why hygiene?

  • See this article where massage therapists shared their worst massage stories. Not for the faint-hearted!

Money matters

In the United Kingdom, good tone dictates that we should not talk about money. Which makes any kind of transaction rather complicated. We have no issues with hearing “2.99” when he hand over a loaf of bread at a supermarket till, but that kind of transactional behaviour can break the magic spell of a luxurious massage.

One way to pay would be by discreetly placing the payment on a side table. Alternatively, it can be handed to the masseur with a ‘thank you’. It goes without saying that haggling, paying in the wrong currency or short changing are all unacceptable.

And finally…

Not a rule of gay massage etiquette, but a very welcome gesture if you’re able to spare a few minutes: please let us know what you thought of your massage. Feedback is also passed on to your masseur, so they can feel good about a session that went well or adjust their technique if anything was not to your liking. In the long run, it allows us to retain a position of leadership in the male massage sector and to provide an excellent experience to our clients. We are very grateful to clients who get back to us with comments on their massage. Thank you!

And that is all! We hope that you found this guide on gay massage etiquette helpful. If there is anything that is not covered, but should be, just send us an e-mail and we will get back to you with a response soon.