So you’ve booked yourself an adult massage. Some men are brief and practical – time, date, done. Others like to inform themselves about the experience, ask questions and plan it all out. If you’re one of the latter, you might find yourself thinking about what a ‘massage adapted to your needs’ looks like. Is it just marketing-speak? Or is this a part of the service that you receive and can benefit from?

Any massage therapist worth his salt will offer to adapt the massage to your needs. Should you take him up on the offer? Generally speaking, each massage should be tailored to you anyway. Good masseurs don’t work as automatons, they observe their client’s body language and adjust their approach accordingly. But skilled as they may be, they are not mind readers. You know yourself better than the best masseur ever could. Here are some ways that you can help your masseur give you an amazing experience.

Find out what your sensual massage goals are

When you book an adult massage, you have a specific reason. You are more likely to have a good time if you’re honest with yourself what that reason is from the outset. The goal of having a pleasurable experience is implied, but you also might want to:

  • Try something new
  • Fulfil an old fantasy
  • Address an issue, such as premature ejaculation or social anxiety
  • Acquire self-knowledge: about what you like or what your sexuality is like
  • Experience touch at a time when you’re touch-deprived

Once you know what your goal is, you should think about what would best help you achieve it. Is it a masseur that looks in a particular way? Sounds in a particular way? Has a particular skill set? Does your ideal massage need to move along at a particular pace? You’re not being finicky. You are getting value for your money.

Is it adult massage you need?

Whilst trying to understand what you’re looking for in sensual massage, you might bring up less happy thoughts. Some men look for sensual massage to deal with a bad break-up, to address loneliness or to distract themselves from a marriage that has lost its spark. If that’s the case for you, consider carefully whether an adult massage is what you actually need. The answer may be yes, but it may also be that what you need is therapy, to meet new people or to have an honest conversation with your partner. You know yourself best.

Find out what your therapeutic goals are

But it’s not all just about living out your fantasy. As each massage is also a therapeutic massage, I would suggest that you consider your therapeutic massage goals. Here are some examples of the goals you could set for yourself:

  • Ease lower back pain that’s been plaguing you ever since you’ve started working from home.
  • Relax your hamstrings that got tight from all the running you’ve been doing.
  • Improve mobility in stiff joints.
  • Get some relief from tension headaches.
  • Calm an overactive mind by taking time out of your schedule to relax and enjoy yourself.
  • Help a recent injury heal; this doesn’t have to involve complex physio, a gentle massage improves blood flow to the area and encourages healing.
  • Improve your posture. If you have poor posture, some of your muscles will be doing a job that’s not theirs. Once your masseur eases the tension in overworked muscles, your body will be able to naturally shift to the correct position.
  • You have a training injury and your regular therapeutic massage cannot address the muscular strain within the groin area.

Once you have worked out what you want from your massage, it’s time to communicate it.

Bed or massage table?

You can usually choose where you would like to be massaged, on a bed or on a massage table. If you need a deep tissue massage with lots of pressure, choose the table. If medium pressure is enough and you want to focus on the relaxation/sensual aspect of your massage, choose the bed.

Tell us beforehand

The time when you contact us to book your massage is the best time to communicate your needs. There are a few reasons for this. One, you can go to your massage and relax knowing that your masseur has been informed. If your issue requires a technique that the masseur hasn’t used in a while, he will have time to refresh his memory. Two, as masseurs specialise in different things, we might be able to advise you on the best person for your needs. Of course, this is only advice – you can still book whomever you prefer.

Talk to your masseur

shoulder massage in progress

Would you like him to apply deeper pressure? Tell him. (Photo by CEphoto, Uwe Aranas / CC-BY-SA-3.0)

‘Talking’ here doesn’t mean that you have to have an in-depth discussion with your masseur (after all, you’re there for a massage!). But if you’d like him to focus on a particular area for longer before moving on or if you find a particular stroke uncomfortable, say it there and then. The masseurs appreciate direction because they are interested in delivering the best experience possible. As people differ, it’s not always easy to tell what ‘best experience possible’ is. If you visit the same masseur multiple times, this also allows him to learn what your likes and dislikes are. He can then apply this knowledge to future visits.

The golden rule

Quite a few men have told us that they’re conscious of not wanting to offend anyone by asking the wrong thing. Which is a very reasonable and considerate thing to say. After all, adult massage has different boundaries from a purely therapeutic massage and it’s not always possible to tell where those boundaries lie. So the golden rule is: “no question, politely asked, is offensive in itself”. Really, we hear so many questions – some unusual, explicit, transgressive…Nothing will faze us.

Provided that it’s politely worded and not meant to be offensive, any question will receive a polite and honest answer. Try us.

Some of the requests we’ve had:

  • can the masseur wear gym shorts / a jockstrap / formal trousers ?
  • can the massage be completely silent?
  • may I have a purely therapeutic massage with a focus on addressing muscle pain near the groin area?
  • can my partner watch / can I watch my partner?
  • can you use ________?
  • am I allowed to touch ___________?
  • may I ______ ?
  • can I have a masseur who is very tall / hairy / a redhead / fluent in _____ language ?
  • can I take my masseur out for dinner ?

Not every request can be fulfilled, but please ask and we’ll try our best. You can also choose to read through our FAQ.


After your adult massage, consider whether you have achieved your goals. If not, what would you have had differently? If it’s something we can help you with, talk to us. Because one sure way of getting more out of your massage is to build a relationship with the people who massage you. If you add your self-knowledge to their expertise, you will be on your way to that unforgettable massage experience.