I am certain that one day mainstream cinema moguls will wake up to the fact that every movie would be made infinitely better by the inclusion of a male to male massage scene. Until that day comes, I have to dig through what’s available – and there isn’t a lot. Below I list some of the movies in my collection that feature male to male massage. I rate each for massage quality, the look of the massage room and the amount of male nudity on screen. Do you know any others? Let us know and we’ll do a part 2 sometime soon.
Jewish mobster Moe Green is having a massage at a Las Vegas parlour, when a hitman ordered by Michael Corleone shoots him in the eye.
The massage: shoddy! Moe’s masseur is rushing so much, it looks like he’s rubbing his client with vodka to protect him from dying in a tent near the polar circle (and that massage oil bottle actually looks like it might be some crude spirit). The massage is probably rushed to add intensity to the dramatic scene, but it can’t have been very enjoyable.
The massage room: again, it wouldn’t win any awards. Look at that grubby side table! At least the sheet is clean. Presumably to contrast better with the blood that pours out of Moe’s eye when the assassin shoots him.
Male nudity: not much of it. There’s a teeny tiny glimpse of Moe’s ass crack when he rises from the table to put his glasses on.
2. Much Ado About Nothing
Don John (Keanu Reeves) is receiving a male massage whilst wearing leather trousers (because he is a villain) and being quizzed by his masseur why he is ‘out of measure sad’. I’m not making this up. That’s pure Shakespeare for you.
The massage: suspect. The masseur makes some kind of an attempt, but keeps his hands squarely on top of Don John’s back. Maybe Don John is sad because his masseur is ignoring his arms, shoulders and sides. Maybe he is out of measure sad because this is most definitely not a tantric massage. Perhaps he should have hired a real masseur rather than giving the job to his servant.
The massage room: rather atmospheric! There’s not just candle light, but a full roaring fire. The massage sheet looks clean. All in all, the room looks a bit too much like a BDSM dungeon to be relaxing, but hey, to each his own. Enter if you dare.
Male nudity: limited, but it’s Keanu Reeves! Due to the blasted leather trousers, all that is on show is the upper part of the body. But he has to wear leather trousers at all times, because, you know, evil.
3. Chariots of Fire
Harold Abrahams, a professional runner (and a real person), is being massaged by his coach Mussabini, whilst his friend Aubrey looks on. In a pretty homoerotic moment, Harold tells Aubrey that he is his ‘most complete man’.
The massage: profesh! The coach is putting his back into it. There’s fine fingerwork, a leg raise and you can see the coach observing Harold as he massages. Now whether he is looking for clues to inform his massage strokes or just eavesdropping on the conversation, remains unknown.
The massage room: very good. The towels are snow-white, and there are additional towels rolled up and lying on the side table. The massage oils are many and they are arranged on a tray for convenience. As in most British homes, space is at a premium here, but it’s well utilised.
Male nudity: modest. We only see Harold’s back and arms, but just look at those arms. This, without a doubt, is an athlete’s body. The look on his friend’s face is one of stupefied admiration, and he spends most of this scene with his mouth open. Wonder why.
4. Beautiful Thing
Grim council estates in Thamesmead, alcoholism and brutality. Then, something different. After teenage Ste gets beaten, his (soon to be more than) friend Jamie rubs some peppermint cream onto his back. Then there is kissing and a sleepover, followed by more angst and violence. It all ends well, though.
The massage: barely there. To Jamie’s defence, he can hardly start kneading Ste’s stress knots (of which there are many, no doubt) because Ste’s back is badly bruised. Instead we see the gentlest of back rubs. So it’s not quite a massage, but who am I to criticize it? It was what Ste needed. It was good enough to win kisses.
The massage room: cozy and unprofessional. Essentially, it’s a teenage bedroom in a council estate flat. As such, it’s excellent. There are garland lights. The peppermint lotion is hardly a luxury massage ointment (coming out of a nameless plastic bottle and all), but the massage recipient is very appreciative. Which is what counts.
Male nudity: one bruised back of a teenage lad. Anything more and the legality of this movie would be questionable.
5. Tripple Crossed
Chis suffers from PTSD, and he’s having an anxiety attack. Andrew proposes a massage to calm him down. The whole thing is complicated by the fact that Andrew is the former lover of Tyler, who was a friend of Chris and who died in Afghanistan. Tyler had told Chris to protect Andrew, whereas Tyler’s sister told Chris to kill him. Instead? He lets Andrew give him a massage. Which is probably what I would do too.
The massage: half-arsed but sensual. Although its therapeutic properties are promoted by Andrew, chances are that Chris relaxing has more to do with Andrew’s presence and the promise of a sleepless night. Andrew rubs his shoulders a bit and admits that it’s really just ‘foreplay to foreplay’. However, the pressure of Andrew’s hands and fingers appears to be deep and effective. If only it lasted longer than a minute.
The massage room: inviting. It’s a modern bedroom with a red feature wall, dimmed lights and fluffy white bedding. Just the sort of place you’d want for an erotic massage. However, massage oils are not in sight, and it appears that Andrew is not using any, kneading Chris’s shoulders without any lubrication. Ouch, that’s gonna leave marks.
Male nudity: fairly generous. According to some critics, male nudity is the one thing that this movie has going for it (some of the actors have also starred in pornographic films). The massage scene is not nude, but there is plenty of opportunity to feast your eyes on tanned bodies and well-built arms.
Looking for real male to male massage?
If you’re done with the movies and want the real thing, hopefully you know who to call. If not, here it is again: get in touch with us for a massage that is as much professional as it is sensual. Browse our massages page or let us help you choose. And in regards to male nudity, we’ll take it a notch above what you can see in any of the listed movies. That’s a guarantee.