If you’re the anxious type, even regular therapeutic massage has a lot of potential for awkwardness. You are unsure when to undress, or by how much, when to lie down, then your lunch starts making ominous sounds from your gut…And that’s just for starters. Nude male massage could take that anxiety up a notch. Here are some situations that feel awkward for some men, and easy ways to deal with them.
Some people are more ticklish than others, and it can be really awkward if you’re giggling and jumping into the air each time your masseur touches you. Masseurs are aware of this issue, and will often have tricks to avoid tickling you. For example, they might use their palm instead of their fingers to massage you, or they might avoid touching your ribs.
Do: ask the masseur to avoid the area that you know to be ticklish.
Don’t: try to ‘wait it out’. You’ll be clenching your muscles and not relaxing as you should.
Remember that: it’s your masseur’s job to avoid the ticklish area and adjust the touch to suit you.
As awkward moments in massage go, many think this is the worst. However, erection is a common response to massage and in erotic massage it is even expected. Something not everyone knows is that it does not always indicate arousal. Some men will get hard if they feel that it’s something they shouldn’t do (‘worry boner’). It’s a bit like when you tell to yourself not to think about something, and then can’t stop yourself thinking about it.
Do: relax and enjoy yourself. If it’s an erotic massage, so much the better.
Don’t: demand sex from your masseur. That’s not part of his job.
Remember that: even in therapeutic massage, ejaculation does sometimes occur. Some men are just really sensitive that way. Therapeutic masseurs are trained to hand their client a tissue for clean up, then continue with the massage as normal.
Gas, burping and other gut business
Yes, you can hold it in for some time, but if you’re clenching your muscles, it defeats the purpose of the massage. In fact, massage therapists are used to occasional farts from their clients, because massage strokes stimulate various processes within the digestive system. That includes…yes. What’s more, your stomach might make weird rumbling sounds. Many masseurs take it as a sign that the massage is working and you’re relaxing.
Do: if gas worries you, eat a good diet, avoiding gassy food before a massage. Not all farts are made equal. A platter of cold cuts followed by a bean stew will produce much worse gas than a steak and salad.
Don’t: clench and hold. You need to relax during your massage. That comes first.
Remember that: we’re all human and massage therapists also have a digestive tract. Although they’ll probably spare you and leave the room if the situation demands.
The British sometimes see money talk as vulgar, and so it can get a bit uncomfortable if you don’t know how and when you should pay for your massage. The general rule is: pay once you arrive and give your masseur a moment to check the amount in a businesslike manner. This concludes the transactional part straight away and you can both concentrate on the fun part.
Do: take out enough cash before you arrive for your appointment.
Don’t: ask your masseur for discounts once you arrive.
Remember that: tips are not expected, although they are appreciated just like in other industries. But this is not a restaurant meal, the fee for your massage really does include everything.
There are some massage therapists in this world who expect their clients to keep their underwear on during the massage. However, most massages take place in the nude, and where you are given disposable underwear, it’s more for your peace of mind than anything. If you have encountered disposable underwear, you will have noticed that it covers nothing at all. So don’t feel strange about undressing completely. For erotic massage, it’s obviously de riguer.
Do: if you are having a therapeutic massage and feel unsure, ask your therapist whether you should keep your underwear on.
Don’t: allow anyone shame you for taking your underwear off for a massage. No one bats an eyelid when a woman does it, yet a man is perceived as seeking ‘extras’ as soon as he drops his pants.
Remember that: during therapeutic massage, your body will be covered and the therapist will skillfully manage various towels to avoid awkward moments. Erotic massage might still use towels for warmth, but otherwise it’s all about the contact, so be brave ; )
Body image issues
Some overweight men worry that they will be secretly judged by their masseur during the massage. Men who are very hairy also occasionally worry about how they are perceived. The good news is, masseurs who have issues with the human body usually don’t stay in the industry for long.
Do: spend more time in the nude when you’re at home. Learn to love your body.
Don’t: deny yourself the pleasures of life because you think that you’re the ‘wrong build’. There’s no such thing.
Remember that: for massage purposes, a body with more fat is easier to massage than a lean body. Hairy body merely needs more massage lotion to ensure that there’s a good glide and the hairs don’t get pulled.
Need to urinate
Massage shakes things up and the wonderful machine that is the human body starts running even smoother. Which means that once your masseur starts his work, you might suddenly feel that all that La Croix you had with your lunch is now pushing on your bladder.
Do: ask for a bathroom break and return to your massage afterwards.
Don’t: hold it. You won’t be able to relax your muscles if you do.
Remember that: this is often mentioned during massage therapist training, so you’re not going to surprise your masseur.
Some people worry about falling asleep during the massage, especially if they start snoring or drooling as well…I’ve never heard of that happening during an erotic massage. In any case, falling asleep means that the client has relaxed fully, which is an outcome every massage therapist wants.
Do: get a massage if you’re having trouble sleeping. One of the complaints that massage can help with is insomnia.
Don’t: worry about causing inconvenience or missing your next appointment. Massage therapists have ways to gently awaken their clients.
Remember that: during a therapeutic massage, you don’t lose out on the benefits to your muscles and wellbeing if you fall asleep.