One of the most frequent questions that I get from people who know what I do, is: what sort of clients do you get? In this blog post I’ll describe 6 distinct types of client that book nude male massage in London. Obviously, it’s a generalisation. There’s a great variety of men out there, and we get just about every type contacting us. Therefore please accept that this is written for fun rather than as a serious analysis.

The Businessman

businessman in a suit adjusting his tie

The businessman: is there time for a massage between the meetings?

He’s busy. We either get a booking weeks – or even months – in advance, or it’s a quick call when he is already on the way from the airport. He might run late if his plane doesn’t land on time, as often he’ll book a massage to address jet lag fatigue. Or perhaps he’d rather squeeze an appointment in between his business meetings. In that case his timing will be impeccable, and he expects the same of his masseur. Rescheduling and cancellations are fairly frequent with the Businessman, as his work commitments and travel plans change, but he appreciates our flexibility and is likely to become a regular.

The businessman doesn’t ask many questions, he just sends through the information needed for the booking. The one question he has, is: will there be a shower I can use? He might not have the time to return to his hotel before his next meeting. Sometimes he appreciates help with planning his travel to/from his massage, and he has strong opinions about the London traffic.

The Straight Guy

The first thing that the Straight Guy tells us is that he is straight. We then discuss the massage options in detail. He usually books a Body to Body massage, and out of all clients he is most likely to book the Sensual Sports massage. In fact, the Sensual Sports massage probably exists for the Straight Guy, as a bridge between therapeutic and erotic massages. Sometimes the Straight Guy asks for the masseur to wear gym shorts.

Along with the First Timer, the Straight Guy is the type of client that is most likely to leave positive feedback. He likes to control the pace of his session, and although he treads carefully to start with, later he often goes for the full erotic massage experience. Generally, the Straight Guy is really easy-going, because as long as he feels in control, he is undemanding and friendly. However, of all types he’s most prone to cancellations and no-shows.

The Man of Leisure

male in suit glancing sideways

The Man of Leisure: likes booking late in the evening.

This client will often go for the most expensive massage packages, and sometimes we have to discuss whether that’s actually the best option for him (for example, he might want to book Wet’n’Wild for two hours in addition to his massage, and we suggest 1h instead, because excessive bathing is both exhausting and unhealthy). The Man of Leisure will often book outcalls to his hotel, often quite late in the evening. Occasionally, the booking will be made by his assistant. He is specific about the masseur that he wants to book, and will often consider the four-hand massage option. The Man of Leisure never quibbles about the price, and often tips generously on top. He rarely offers feedback after the massage, but if he enjoys the experience, he will return.

The First Timer

Trying something new for the first time is scary. Therefore we are prepared to answer any questions that the First Timer may have, and sometimes he has many. He’s the only type of client that asks whether he needs to ‘bring something’ or how he ‘should behave’. There are no-shows on occasion, but most First Timers are very considerate. They take suggestions happily, and we often try to steer them to a masseur who is known for being especially considerate as well. The First Timer prefers their masseur to know that it’s his first massage. He can be quite particular. Although he doesn’t have the experience to know his likes and dislikes, he has read the descriptions on the site carefully and has his mind made up on what he wants. He often leaves positive feedback, but also lets us know if any information on the site needs updating.

The Undercover

Some clients find our extensive privacy measures and strict discretion funny or cumbersome. Not so with the Undercover. The Undercover is a little alarmed when we ask him for his first name. We explain that it’s only in case the masseur is approached by staff when he arrives at the hotel (it’s strange if you don’t know the name of the ‘friend’ you’re visiting, right?). The Undercover often communicates only by e-mail and if he uses Whatsapp, he wants to be reassured that we’re deleting the chat afterwards. Like the Businessman, he’s not the one to chat much beforehand. He is also really likely to arrive for his booking on time. Although occasionally a bit abrupt to start with, the Undercover can become a loyal client once we earn his trust.

The Gentleman

a white male with grey hair talking on the phone

The Gentleman: doesn’t like texting.

In some ways, the Gentleman is the least gentle of all the clients. He often doesn’t like texting or e-mailing and insists on phone calls only. This client is pleased that he always gets to speak to the same person, but although we don’t keep client details, he expects us to remember all of his preferences. He doesn’t get short-tempered, but he doesn’t forgive mistakes easily. Being addressed in a polite way is important to him, and he doesn’t tolerate sales-speak. The Gentleman is the type of client that is most likely to have unusual requests, and he often rotates masseurs rather than sticking to someone he likes. He is also more likely to book Tie & Tease than others. Generally, however, Tantric is his preferred massage.

Why these categories are helpful

If you have ever booked nude male massage in London, did you recognise yourself in one of the above descriptions? Of course, once we start, we could find countless others, such as the Mystic, the Husband, the Hipster, and so on. Then there are those who do contact us, but don’t actually become clients – the Conversationalist, the Hen Party, the Hedonist. And of course, men who book nude male massage in London don’t actually fit neatly into these stereotypes, occupying the ‘in-between’ space and possessing traits not even mentioned in this blog post. So why generalise at all? The main use for these categories is to help us do our job well. When we speak to a client, we have to answer the question: ‘what are this person’s needs?’. Only by knowing that we can expect to offer an excellent service.